


Reminder of a heart that once caved in

by CliffordAffliction



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Based off Movie, Cashton, Chaptered, DOMESTIC CASHTON, Footballplayer!Calum, M/M, Movie fic, Time Skips, band au, drummer!Ashton, more tags to be added as this progresses, multi chaptered, not American football, real madrid - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-16 12:59:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8103226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CliffordAffliction/pseuds/CliffordAffliction
Summary: When Ashton is 18 he watches Calum walk out of his life and 5 years later he gets to see what his life would have been like if he wouldn't have made Calum get on that plane and leave him all those years ago (based off of the movie The Family Man)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> IM BACK GUYS OMG. So as some of you may have known my computer junkd out a few months ago so I've been unable to write any fic and its killed me but now Im back with this multi chaptered cashton fic that Im so excited for. Also I will be resuming my Mashton fic soon. I really dont know much about soccer but thats okay cause this really doesnt talk about it that much because it is written from Ashtons POV.

5 years prior 

Ashton stood in the middle of hundreds of people but yet he could only keep his eyes on the beautiful boy in front of him that was steadily walking away from him. It felt like the further the boy got from him the more Ashton felt like he couldn't breathe and the more he felt like his world was ending. He had to keep telling himself that this was for the best though and he knew it was; it was the best for the both of them. 

He pressed his lips together as he watched the boy stand in line with the other people who would be getting on the same flight as him and Ashton knew this was it; the last time he would ever get to see Calum. He knew he should have been savoring every second of this but instead he felt himself looking down at the white shiny floor not even being able to look at Calum as he left his life.

These past four years with Calum had been the happiest times of his life and he just couldn't bear to see it disappear right in front of his eyes.

He listened to the sound of people talking loudly and the sound of footsteps around him but he absolutely refused to look up. He took a few steps back just planning on leaving the airport and starting his new life but another part of him wanted something else entirely. 

The selfish part of him wanted to run after Calum and beg the boy not to leave him and keep begging until Calum knew that Ashton couldn't live without him. Ashton knew he couldn't do that though and he felt himself taking a few more steps back. He knew that if he loved Calum then he had to let him go and live his dream. Ashton wouldn't ever be able to forgive himself if he took this opportunity away from Calum. 

Ashton finally looked up but it was only to turn his body around so he could start walking away but he only got a few steps away before another body was pressing into his back and putting their arms around his torso. Ashton knew who it was without even turning around and he let out a sigh before turning around to face the boy.

As soon as Ashton turned around Calum was wrapping his arms around his shoulders and clinging to Ashton like he never planned on letting go. Ashton melted into his touch and dug his face into Calum's neck and rubbed his hands up Calums back a few times before pulling the boy away from him.

Calum stood in front of him with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks and Ashton swallowed hard before he knew he had to make Calum do the right thing.

"Cal" was the only thing Ashton managed to get out and he hated how weak he sounded; he knew that he needed to be the strong one or else Calum would end up making a huge mistake and Ashton only wanted what was best for him. 

Before Ashton even managed to say what he planned to Calum was shaking his head like he already knew exactly what Ashton was going to say to him. 

"I know we agreed that this was something that I can't pass up but I've changed my mind"

"Calum-"

"I just have a bad feeling that..that this isn't the right choice. I know this is a huge opportunity for me and ive wanted this my whole life but this was my dream before I met you" and Ashton felt himself shaking his head as he looked down at the floor; he couldnt just let Calum throw this new life of his away. 

He looked back up at Calum and softly moved a strand of hair off his forehead then he was leaning forward and kissing the same spot. This wasn't going to be easy for either of them but Ashton had to fight this. He knew Calum would thank him for it later. 

"Baby it's still your dream; this is just nerves and-" 

"Why are you acting as if you like the idea of me leaving?" Calum spoke the words as more tears fell from his eyes and Ashton reached up to wipe them away out of habit. He had never been the reason for Calums tears and he absolutely hated that he was making the boy cry right now. Ashton took a deep breath before he began to speak again.

"I just don't want to be the thing that held you back from living your dream,cal. years from now I don't want you to regret the choice you made here in the airport today" 

"I'd never regret any choice that involves you" Calum said quickly and Ashton was beside himself with love for this boy but he also hated how hard Calum was making this out to be.

"Just...please stop making this so difficult for me. I don't want you to leave me but I'm trying to do what's best for you" Ashton still used that same soft and caring tone and he didnt know if he was making it worse or better for Calum. 

"What about doing what's best for the both of us? Cause me leaving is not it" 

"Just trust me when I say that it is" Ashton said sternly, hoping that Calum would just believe him but when Calum softy smiled he knew the boy wasn't done fighting. 

"Come on. You're gonna be in a famous band one day and we can travel the world" and Ashton laughed at that. 

All he did was play as a fill in drummer once in a while, and Ashton didn't even think that he was that great, but yet Calum had so much faith in him and swore that Ashton would make it big one day. It was Ashton's dream as a kid to play in a famous band one day but he knew he had to stop kidding himself and grow up. 

"Me and you both know that the band thing is never gonna happen for me. We're not in high school anymore and I'm not lucky enough to be able to live my dream but you are and I'm not gonna let you just throw it all away" Ashton spoke with more anger than he meant to and he gritted his teeth, trying not to cry, when he watched Calum's smile fall from his face. 

The intercom made them both jump and they both looked up at the ceiling when they realized that Calum's plane was beginning to board. Ashton looked back down to see Calum already looking at him and he could see so much pain in his eyes and he couldn't stand it. 

"So...so you want me to leave" Calum spoke the sentence as more of a statement than a question but Ashton felt himself nodding as he looked down at his shoes. 

"I just want you to be happy, Calum" Ashton spoke barely above a whisper "Thats all I want" 

"I’m the happiest when-" 

"Please don't say it" Ashton said through gritted teeth as he still didn't make eye contact with Calum "Please just go; You're gonna miss your flight" 

He felt Calum's presence in front of him for a few more seconds, not daring to look up, and then the boy was gone; leaving Ashton standing all alone in the sea of people. 

 

PRESENT TIME 

Ashton's ears were ringing loudly along with the erupting yelling of the crowd in front of him and he smiled widely at all the people in the front row who were jumping and looking like they were having the time of their lives. 

The front of the crowd went off even more as Ashton watched Luke stand at the very edge of the stage with his pick in his hand and his light blue guitar still hanging off of him. 

He watched as Luke acted as if he was about to throw his pick to a few girls with matching 5sos shirts but then he retracted his hand and moved down the stage more. Ashton felt himself laugh out loud at that because it was so typical Luke to tease their fans like that. 

Finally Luke threw his pick out into the crowd on the left side of the stage where Kelen was standing there laughing with his bass hanging off of him. After Luke moved back to his mircrophone Ashton could see a slight fight erupt between 2 girls and a guy who all wanted Luke's pick. 

"Hey hey hey!" Luke shouted into his microphone with a hint of a laugh in his voice "Don't fucking kill each other over it"

Ashton wiped his sweat drenched hair off his forehead just as one of the girls was pushing the other and Ashton got the attention of one of the security guards so that they could resolve the issue. 

Ashton did really love his job, if you could even call it that, but it was the end of their show and honestly he just wanted to get back to the hotel, take a shower and pass out. His bandmates never seemed to feel the same way though because when the show ended the always found a way to drag it on even longer.

"Luke, why don't you throw your underwear out there to distract them!" Michael said from the right side of the stage with a smirk on his face and Ashton fondly rolled his eyes; it was so typical Michael. 

"Umm" Luke said lowly into the microphone as he stuck his lips right up to it "I'm not wearing any" and at that the whole crowd erupted again and Ashton smiled wide. 

Once the crowd and the friendly banter among his bandmates started to die down Ashton knew they were leaving the stage soon so he brought his microphone in front of him. 

"Alright Tokyo this is our last song. You've been fucking incredible, we'll see you next time!" Ashton spoke and he settled his drumsticks in his hands as he got ready to play their final song in the great city of Tokyo.

 

*

As soon as their van arrived at the hotel Ashton could see at least 30 fans by the door and he felt himself groan a bit which earned a snicker from Kelen who was sitting next to him. 

"Be mad about the fans being here all you want but I'd honestly be more worried if we didnt have any at all" 

"Shut up" Ashton said with a laugh because he knew Kelen was right but he didnt exactly want to stop being pissy either so he just slumped down in his seat more. 

"We're gonna head around the back side, boys so you can go straight up to your rooms" their driver suddenly said and Ashton let out a sigh of relief. 

Usually he wasn’t this pissy and usually meeting fans was his favorite thing to do but today he was just exhausted. They had done 7 shows in a row with no break days in between and Ashton was just feeling like he was dead in every sense. He felt the exhaustion even when he did something as simple as lifting his hand to see his phone and he knew he needed a whole day worth of rest, or maybe two, to be back to his normal energetic self. 

He looked up at the seat in front of him and saw Michael and Luke with their heads on their windows and their eyes closed. It woudnt surprise him if they were asleep because Ashton was close to falling asleep too, especially with the sound of Kelen softly humming one of their songs next to him. 

He knew his bandmates were just as exhausted as he was and luckily they would have the next 5 days offf; God knows they need it or else they'd all probably fall over and die on stage or something. 

Once they got to the back entrance of the hotel it was empty just like it should be and Ashton leaned forward to grab his bag and then he shook both Michael and Luke awake before they all piled out of the van. 

They walked up to the hotel like zombies with their bags on their shoulders and Ashton and Luke were both a few steps behind Michael and Kelen. 

Ashton looked up at the sky at all the bright lights and he wish he had enough energy to scope out the city and visit everything it has to offer.

He knew he would have plenty of time for that tomorrow though and he was sure that he would be bringing Luke along with him, knowing that the other two boys would just want to stay in their rooms all day and get room service. 

After they got their rooms situated the boys got in the elevator and Ashton felt Luke instantly lean against him. He put his palm flat against the blond boys back and felt the blond let out a content sigh at the touch; Luke always got so cuddly when he was tired and Ashton knew they'd probably be spooning by the end of the night.

"Are you really not wearing underwear, Luke?" Michael broke the silence and it was the first word any of them muttered since they left the van. It got a tired chuckle out of Luke then he was taking his head off of Ashton's shoulder as the elevator came to a halt on their floor. 

"I'm wearing them but they're yours" Luke said with a smirk as he walked ahead of Ashton. 

"You bastard" Michael muttered and Ashton pushed Michael towards his own room before any type of war could break out between them in the hallway. 

"See you in the morning, guys" Ashton threw over his shoulder without looking back at Kelen and Michael and he heard them both mutter a tired "goodnight" before he was putting the keycard into the slot on his and Luke's door. 

Ever since they first started doing tours they decided that Ashton and Luke would always room together because Luke and Michael would kill each other, Ashton was a light sleep so he couldn't handle Kelen's snoring and many other problems that coexisted between them. 

It was just safe to room the way they did and Ashton honestly never cared about rooming with the other two because him and Luke were such good roommates. 

"Shit!" Luke shouted as soon as Ashton let him step into the room first and Ashton walked into the room to see Luke rushing to his bag like he was frantically checking to make sure that he didnt leave something behind him and honestly Luke was known for losing things so it wouldn't surprise him if that was the right now. 

"What? What's going on?" Ashton spoke just as he watched Luke bringing his laptop out and setting it on the bed as he hurried to turn it on. 

"The game. The fucking game Ash" he said frantically as he sat back against the headboard "I recorded it earlier and I was gonna watch it when we got back from the show tonight" 

Watching footie games was always very important to Luke and honestly Ashton never cared about them but for some reason he felt himself getting curious as to what teams were playing but he still held his tongue. 

"I thought you were tired" he said blandly as he stripped down to his boxers. Before he had planned on showering but screw it; a bed was in front of him and all he wanted to do was lie down in it.

"Well I was but I need to watch this game" he said as he was smiling wide as he typed away at his computer. Finally Ashton's curiosity got the best of him and he knew he might regret asking the question. 

"Who's uh...who's playing?" Ashton asked almost in a shy tone as he sat at the foot of Lukes bed. 

"Real Madrid" and there it was; the two words that Ashton was dreading. He should have known that Real Madrid would be the team that Luke was looking forward to watching though because they had been his favorite team for years. Ashton neglected to tell any of them about his little secret, mostly because he knew they would all lose their damn minds if they did know. 

"Scoot over" Ashton said as he stood up and started walking to the right side of the bed and Luke gave him a confused look "I wanna watch it too" 

"Since when?" Luke shot back with a bit of an attitude and Ashton rolled his eyes before pushing at Luke's shoulder to get him to move. 

"I'm not tired. Just move over" Luke gave him a weird look for a few more seconds before he was moving from the middle of the bed to the left side to make room for Ashton. 

It was already a little into the game once Ashton focused on the laptop screen and he hated himself for automatically searching for one of the players. 

 

He could tell Luke was getting excited next to him as he couldn’t hold still and he laughed to himself before looking back at the screen. 

The camera on screen did an arial view of the stadium and Ashton couldn't believe how huge it was. Sure, his band had played at some of the biggest venues in the world but this stadium seemed so much bigger and he watched as the camera zoomed up on some of the people in the crowd and the hyped up people reminded him of their own fans; except typically his fans didn't wear face paint. 

The camera finally focused back on the big green field and Ashton felt himself biting his lip as he looked around at all the players. Maybe Ashton would get lucky and the boy wasn't even playing but he knew that thought was pointless. You didn't even have to be a football fan to know that Calum Hood was without a doubt one of the best players so there was no way they'd play without him. 

His eyes were scanning all over as one guy kicked the ball across the field and that was when Ashton's eyes landed on him and weirdly enough the ball got kicked right to the boy a few seconds later. He didn't even realize how close Calum was to the goal before the boy was kicking the ball once and the crowd, along with Luke beside him, were erupting with excitement. 

Ashton watched with awe as Calum smiled widely and threw his fist in the air before a few of his teammates came running over to him. It was that same smile that used to give Ashton goosebumps and he'd be lying if he said that it didn't have the same affect on him now. 

It had been so long since another person has brought such a bright smile to his face and Ashton was convinced that maybe Calum was the only person who could. 

It wasn't like Ashton hadn't seen Calum since that day in the airport five years ago. For years he had seen him on billboards, magazines and anywhere else that seemed to want to remind him of the man he used to love more than anything. This was just the first time that he was seeing him play a game and Ashton wasn't sure if that was because he couldn't stand watching football or if he just couldn't stand to see Calum. 

"Ash!" 

"Shit" Ashton nearly fell off the bed at Luke's loud voice "What?" 

"I said why are you enjoying this game so much? Especially when you claim to hate football so much"

"I'm not enjoying it" Ashton was quick to defend himself "I'm just laughing at them; they look fucking ridiculous" and Ashton knew he wasn't fooling Luke when the boy scoffed at him. 

"Okay sure" 

"What would you say if i said that I dated one of the players?" Ashton suddenly said because for some reason he felt like he wanted to get his secret out there. 

"One of which players?" Luke said only half listening as his eyes were glued to the screen. 

 

“One of the Real Madrid players”

"Umm I'd say you're full of shit" 

"So you wouldn't believe me?" 

"No way" Luke deadpanned and Ashton figured there was no point in telling his friend if he wouldn't even believe him and he really wouldn't blame Luke for thinking he was lying. 

"Okay then forget I said anything" he said simply and then he was looking over at the blond next to him and it was as if he could see the cogs turning in Luke's head as he narrowed his eyes and pressed his tongue against his cheek. 

Suddenly Luke was pausing the game and Ashton smirked when he knew that Luke wanted to know more. 

"Okay what exactly are you trying to say?" Luke spoke like he was interrogating him and Ashton chuckled a bit as he seen Luke fully facing him now. 

"I dated one of the Real Madrid players" Ashton shrugged and chuckled a bit and he watched as Luke just narrowed his eyes at him before he was straightening himself up more and and then pressing his lips together. 

"Okay let's say I believe you, even though I don't, which player did you date?" Luke did air quotes when he said the word "date" but Ashton brushed it off. 

"Calum Hood" and he watched as Luke's eyes widened but then he was going back to not believing Ashton. 

"You're so full of shit" and Ashton couldn't help but let out a loud laugh as Luke was turning back to the screen and playing the game again. 

They were quiet until Calum came on the screen and Ashton knew Luke was going to say something. 

"You dated him? You? I'm sorry Ash but I just refuse to accept that"

"What, do you think I'm not good enough for him?" 

"But he's thee Calum Hood! He's a professional football player" 

"He wasn't when met him" Ashton said quietly as he smiled down at his lap. He kept thinking about young Calum kicking a football around in the backyard until the sun went down and constantly talking Ashton's ear off about the most recent game "Back when I knew him he was just kid with big dreams" 

"What?" Luke said utterly confused "How did you meet him when he was a kid. He's from Sydney, Australia" 

"Yeah that's where I'm originally from, Luke" Ashton said slowly and he couldn't believe that he had to verify that with someone who was supposed to be his best friend. 

"Right, right sorry there's a lot going on in my head right now" and Ashton just shook his head. He was then looking towards his suitcase and he specifically remembers being 18 years old and deleting every single photo of Calum that he had but there was also one photo that he hadn't been able to get rid of. It was a photo that he carried all over the world and he slowly got up and started walking towards the other bed. 

"What are you doing?" Luke said cautiously but Ashton ignored him in favor of searching through one of the inside pockets of his suitcase. 

 

He found the photo quickly then he was flicking the photo over to Luke without even looking at it; he had looked at it enough over the years

"Oh my god. You weren't lying" Luke whispered as he held the photo between his fingers. 

"That was our first date when we were 15" and then Ashton was chuckling at the memory "I took him to the drive-in diner. I was so fucking lame" 

For a few seconds Luke was just staring at him like he was piecing it all together in his head and Ashton just continued to stand there. 

"Why didn't you ever tell me about this? Do Kelen and Michael know?" and Ashton just shook his head "no" and didn't bother commenting on the first question "So what happened between you two? Why didn't you guys work out?" 

"I think its pretty obvious why we didn't work out" Ashton said plainly "He got the opportunity of a life time and I wasn't just gonna let him throw it all away"

"Wait wait wait" Luke said putting his hand up "Are you saying that he wanted to turn the offer down to get picked to play for Real Madrid but you...you made him go?" 

"Of course I made him go. He wasn't thinking rationally and I'm sure he's thankful for it now" 

"I don't know" Luke said looking down and playing with the blanket like he didn't want to look at Ashton while he said the next thing "I think you might have made the wrong choice" and Ashton felt his blood boiling a bit. He hated how Luke was acting as if he was in the wrong for making Calum go that day when really he just wanted what was best for the boy. 

"How can you even say that?" Ashton said as he tried not to let his voice get too loud. 

"Calum was willing to give up his dream, his whole future, to be with you and you made him leave" Luke's words left Ashton feeling like someone punched him in the gut because he had never really thought about how much Calum was willing to give up just to be with him "I'm just saying that sometimes I think of what it would be like to have a real and functioning relationship and you could have that with Calum" the words Luke were saying sounded true enough but another part of Ashton dismissed them completely and the sad look on his face was turning back into one of anger. 

"If it wasn't for me Calum wouldn't be out living his dream and I'm not sorry for that" he spoke harshly before he was walking over to the other bed and turning the lamp off so that the room was dark save for the light that was coming off of Luke's laptop. 

Luke didn't speak again until Ashton was fully under the covers and facing away from him. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sure at the time it seemed like the right thing to do and-"

"It was the right thing to do, Luke" Ashton spoke sternly and he could see Luke flinch in the corner of his eye "Stop acting like you knew anything about the situation. I was 18 for fucks sake and all I wanted was for Calum to be happy and I won't apologize for that" 

Ashton knew he had shut Luke up when the boy let out a huff of breath and only a few more minutes went by before the laptop was being turned off and Ashton was left in the darkness with thoughts of Calum on his mind. 

 

*

Ashton had ended up lying awake for hours looking out the big hotel window at all the lights as he wallowed in his own thoughts and it drove him practically insane so that was why he was currently standing in front of the vending machine that was luckily only a few feet down the hall from their room. 

He was so hungry that he almost thought about walking to some fast food joint but that could result in running into fans, it was 3am so that was unlikely but he still didn't want to chance it because it was the last thing he needed right now. He was in such a dull mood and he wouldn't ever want to lash out or treat a fan badly just because of his sour mood. 

He rested his forehead against the glass of the vending machine as he looked at all the chips and candy bars and he knew getting one thing wouldn't help with how hungry he was. He settled on getting 3 candy bars and 3 bag of chips before he stuffed everything he could in his hoody front pocket. 

"Jesus, mate" said a humorous voice and Ashton jumped and looked to see a kid that looked close to his age getting closer to him "Ya know theres about every fast food place you could think of just down the street" 

"Yeah...well I don't want to get spotted" he said simply but if this guy didn't know who he was, like he suspected, then he would have no idea what Ashton was talking about. 

"Spotted?" the kid laughed and Ashton really wasn't in the mood for this. Honestly he doesn't think he would ever be in the mood to talk to some stranger by the vending machine this late at night "What, are the police after you or something?"

"No" Ashton said getting irritated "I'm in a band and if I leave the hotel fans might see me and I just don't feel like dealing with that tonight" 

"Doesn't that get old after a while? You know, always having to deal with the paps and fans swarming you?"

"It's all part of the job, man" Ashton said as he started to walk away "Have a good one" he said just to be polite but apparently the kid wasn't done talking to him. 

"So you're happy with you life?" and that was such a weird question for a stranger to ask so Ashton turned around with a weary look on his face. It was only then that he realized how weird looking the guy really was. He had a mohawk that was blue and red, both of his eyebrows were pierced and he was wearing clothes way too big for him. 

"Uh yeah" Ashton said with a slight attitude "I'm happy" 

"So you wouldn't ever want a normal life? You think you have everything you need in this life?" 

"I have everything I need. I wouldn't want a normal life" he said like it was obvious 

"Are you sure about that?" the boy raised his eyebrows and Ashton was so close to just decking him. 

"Fucking positive" Ashton said through a snarky smile. 

"Okay. Guess I'll leave you to it then" and Ashton knew he was sleep deprived when he was sure that the stranger disappeared right before his eyes. 

"Fucking weirdo" Ashton muttered just as he was stepping into his room and he ate all of his snacks before leaving the wrappers and chip bags all over the floor and going to his bed to finally get some sleep. There was no way that he was thinking about Calum now with how exhausted he was.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this isn't confusing. If you've seen The Family Man then you will have no trouble understanding what is going on in this chapter but you shouldn't anyways. Let me know what you think and don't hesitate to ask questions if you need to! <3

Ashton awoke the next morning to nothing but blackness, the faint sound of the AC turning on and the feeling of something wet and warm on his face.

Ever since they had first met Michael always liked waking the rest of them up in weird ways so honestly Ashton groaned at the thought of that happening right now and he was especially mad at Luke for even letting Michael into their room in the first place.

It was pretty rare that Ashton ever slept in later than Michael so Ashton immediately became scared that he had slept half of his day away and he would have to wait yet another day to go exploring around in Tokyo.

The wetness on his face just seemed to intensitfy and at this point it felt like something was actually...licking his face? and Ashton let out another groan and turned to dig his face in the pillow.

Now that he was more awake it was very obvious that there was something laying entirely on him and the weight was actually starting to hurt him.

"Luke get off" he mumbled into the pillow cause even though he was sure that he had slept in way longer than he needed to he was still extremely worn out.

The weight didnt seem to get off of him though so Ashton started wigging around like a fish out of water, hoping to make Luke fall off of him or something.

Ashton could tell that Luke felt bad for making him so upset last night and maybe this was his form of an apology but honestly Ashton just wanted to sleep and a verbal apology would be just fine.

"Luke get the fuck off of me. I'm not fucking around" Ashton said more sternly this time and finally the weight was off of him but within seconds he felt something might lighter on his stomach.

Ashton finally opened his eyes and he doesn't think he has ever been so terrified in his whole life.

His eyes flickered all over the room, a room that was most definitely NOT his hotel room. The room that he was currently in had huge windows all around it with blue curtains and his bed...his bed was twice the size that his hotel bed was.

The carpet was gray instead of brown and the door was left wide open to where he could see the hallway and stairs and the thing that was licking his face was not Luke at all and instead it was a huge husky that was excitedly wagging its tail as it sat on the other side of the bed. Soon it was licking Ashton's face again and Ashton was quick to push it away. What the hell was going on?

Ashton quickly stood up and went searching all over the room for his suitcase because his suitcase contained his phone and even if this was some weird nightmare he was sure he would be able to call one of his bandmates.

But his suitcase was no where to be found and Ashton really started to panic. Was this all some sick joke that the boys played on him where they carried him to some foreign home while he was sleeping and just left him? but Ashton knew he was such a light sleeper so there was no way they would be able to move him somewhere without him waking up...unless they drugged him but Ashton refused to believe that. His friends were crazy sometimes but they weren’t complete lunatics to where they would drug their friend just for some sick joke.

Ashton felt relief flood through him when he found his phone, or a phone, but it didn't really matter cause he had all of the boys' numbers memorized anyways.

He ran over to the dresser, a dresser that had the top drawer open that contained a bunch of pairs of boxers that were not his but Ashton brushed that off and just focused on the phone.

Ashton grabbed the phone quickly and turned it on but he froze as soon as the seen the lock screen photo; it was a photo of him and the dog that had woken him up this morning. In the photo Ashton had one arm around it as they both sat in the grass and Ashton felt himself getting sick.

This morning had been the first time he had met this unknown dog, he was sure of it, but yet here was a photo of him in the past with this dog. Ashton also had glasses on in the photo and he had lost his glasses years ago in Miami, Florida when him and the boys all went swimming at night.

Ashton snapped back into it and remembered why he was even picking up the phone in the first place; he had to call one of his bandmates, preferably Luke because Luke was the last person he saw last night. Hopefully Ashton could just get ahold of Luke and Luke would tell him that this was all some elaborate joke and then Luke would come to pick him up. Ashton was sure that was what would happen.

He found the contacts in his phone and he let out a gasp when he began seeing all these unknown names like Ronnie and Carol and Rosie like he was sure that he hasn't met anyone by that name in his entire life but yet they were in his contacts on his phone.

Ashton grew even more afraid when he didn't see Michael's, Luke's or Kelen's names in his contacts but he took a deep breath searched them out instead, not really knowing why he didn't do that in the first place.

But as Ashton started to type in the letter L and U the only name that came up was "Luna" and Ashton began to shake his head so fast that he could feel his brain moving in his skull. This could not be happening....there was no way that this was real life.

Sure he knew Luke's number by heart but that fact that his name wasn't in his damn contacts scared him to death.

Ashton quickly brought up the phone app and pressed Luke's number into it as fast as he could. He just had to hear Luke's voice and he had to know that he was okay and that Luke were there for him.

Ashton held his breath until the phone rang four times and then it was stopping and Ashton let his breath out as he waited for Luke to answer on the other end.

"Hello?" and Ashton felt his heart fall into his stomach. The deep voice was for sure not Luke and Ashton began to panic that maybe something happened to the other boys. Maybe they had all been kidnaped and Ashton felt the tears welling in his eyes at how scared he was for his boys.

"Where is Luke? What the fuck did you do with him?" Ashton practically screamed into the phone because he was so done with this whole thing; he just wanted to be back with his boys.

"I'm sorry?" the voice was soft and confused but Ashton wasn't falling for it.

"Luke! My best friend Luke, Where is he?"

"I'm sorry, Son you have the wrong number. There is no one by the name of Luke here" Ashton figured out that it was an older man...so some creep old man kidnapped his friend and now he was playing dumb.

"Stop lying to me! I know you fucking have him"

"Listen, son it seems like you're having a difficult time but I can assure you that no one by that name lives here. We don't even know anyone by that name. Im sorry" and Ashton felt himself dropping to the floor with how sick he felt and he began to whimper into the phone.

"I just...I need to find my friend" he whispered to himself more than anything and he heard a sigh on the other end of the phone.

"If you're friend is missing then I think you should call the Sydney Police. They will be able to help you and-" and Ashton stopped listening and widened his eyes as soon as he heard the word "Sydney". Why would he call the Sydney Police when he was in Tokyo?

"Did you...did you say Sydney?" he just had to make sure that he heard the man right.

"Yes the Sydney Police" and Ashton moved his eyes to the blue curtain a few steps in front of him and then he slowly began walking towards it. He reached his hand forward and moved it away so that it wasn't covering the window anymore.

Ashton let go of phone in shock at what he saw; it was his hometown. He hadn't been here since he visited for Christmas last year but yet here it was, right in front of his eyes.

He could see that he was in some type of subdivision area where a lot of the houses were the same size and he spotted a little girl on her bike going down one of the sidewalks then he looked to his right to see a couple kissing each other on the porch across the road.

So he was clearly in a family neighborhood and he just found it to be a very odd spot to be placed after a kidnaping. Ashton let out a breath and put the phone back on the dresser before he went to sit on the foot of the bed.

Ashton almost considered trying to dial Kelen's and Michaels numbers too but he just felt so numb as he sat there on the bed. Plus he feared that some strange old man would pick up their phones too and he knew he wouldn't be able to hand that two more times.

Soon the dog that had woken him up, and the dog that he loved very much according to his lock screen, was sitting in front of him on the floor and looking up at him with sad eyes.

"I don't even know who you are" Ashton spoke softly as he reached out to pet the dogs head and the dog just wagged his tail even more at the attention.

Ashton jumped and retracted his hand, ready to fight, when he heard something loud drop down the hall and it was then that he knew he wasn't alone anymore and maybe there had been someone here all along. Kidnapped or not Ashton still felt like he had to defend himself and he quickly stood up and began searching for something that could be used for a weapon. But maybe the person would be twice his size and Ashton wouldn't stand a chance anyways; he still had to try though.

He finally found a hockey stick in the corner of the room and honestly Ashton knew this was his best choice to defend himself. He had seen so many movie where people had protected themselves with hockey sticks so he felt safe as he gripped it with both hands and began walking out of the room.

He smelled vanilla scented candles and the smell of laundry as soon as he stepped in the hallway and he couldn't get over how comforting this house was; it didn't at all seem like a kidnapping type of house but Ashton knew he wasn't out of the woods just yet; he could still be in danger.

He looked off of the balcony down at the first floor as he walked by the railing and there was dog toys all over the living room. The living room had 2 leather couches and a love seat that surrounded an entertainment center with a large flat screen TV.

Ashton was taking from all this that whoever lived here were rather well off so it was unlikely that they were after Ashton's money so Ashton honestly had no idea what they wanted from him but he would find out soon enough.

He walked further down the hallway and soon he could see a door slightly move and he could hear whistling coming from inside the room . This was when Ashton started to get nervous and he gripped the hockey stick even harder, getting ready to swing, as he got closer to the open door.

The whistling stopped and then he just heard a quiet humming and the sound of running water and then the sound of someone brushing their teeth. Ashton knew that if they were busy doing something then he would catch them off guard and he would be more likely to defend himself so he hurried and took a deep breath before he rounded the corner.

What he saw standing in front of the mirror was a hundred times more scarier than seeing a mass murderer though. Ashton felt like the hockey stick was dropping to the floor in slow motion as he felt himself getting so dizzy that he had to lean against the door to stop himself from dropping to the floor as well.

"What are you still doing here?" the voice said with a chuckle as he turned around to face Ashton with the toothbrush still in his mouth.

Him speaking made it so much real for Ashton and he felt himself begin to shake and he wanted to say something and just ask "How? How was this happening?" but he felt like someone was holding him by the throat and stopping him from speaking.

Not only was the boy much older than the last time Ashton seen him but he was also completely naked and Ashton couldn't help but scan his eyes down to the boys body in awe. He had forgotten how beautiful he really was. How could he have forgotten?

"Hello? Earth to Ashton" the boy said in a humorous tone and Ashton quickly brought his eyes back up to the boys eyes and he made sure to close his mouth that had been hanging wide open.

He watched as the boys smile faded completely and instead his face changed into one of great worry and then he was turning around and taking care of his toothbrush and then slipping one leg in his boxers.

It was like someone from the outside was controlling his actions and he let his eyes fall to the boys ass until he was pulling the fabric over the skin and Ashton moved his eyes upwards again.

Ashton felt his stomach doing all kinds of flips as the boy walked close to him and then Ashton felt like the air was being taken away from him all at once when the boy stopped only a few inches away from him and reached out to put the back of his hand on Ashton's forehead.

"Are you feeling okay, baby? You don't look well at all" and Ashton felt his heart speed up at the pet name but also how loving and softly the boy was talking to him; it had been years and Ashton was reminded of how good this all felt.

The boys hand moved down Ashton's face and then cupped his cheek and Ashton selfishly leaned into the touch and closed his eyes.

"Talk to me, Ash. You're scaring me"

"Calum" Ashton breathed out like it was a prayer and he forced his eyes open again to look at the beautiful boy "Whats going on? Wh-What are you doing here?" he whispered and Calum retracted his hand like Ashton's skin had burned him and Ashton already missed the touch.

"You mean in this bathroom?" he said laughing a bit " I mean I know this is labeled as your bathroom but I thought you left for work by now so I just came in here to take a shower-"

"No what the hell am I doing in this house? and in Sydney....with you" It was so hard for Ashton to contain his anger but he was just so confused and he wanted answers already. Calum was still looking at hi as if he had grown an extra eye ball so he knew he had to elaborate more "Last night I was in Tokyo and then I wake up this morning in this house and you're here and some weird old man answered Luke's phone and I’m just so fucking confused so it would be nice to have some damn answers"

It seemed like centuries that Calum just looked at Ashton wide eyes and Ashton was so afraid of what he was going to say next but then the brown haired boy was narrowing his eyes and letting out loud strings of laughs that made Ashton jump at first.

"You must be still drunk from last night" Calum said wiping his eyes from all the laughing and then he was walking back to the counter and slipping on a dress shirt and jeans. He was then softly pushing past Ashton and walking towards the stairs "Stay home from work today. God knows you need it" he said with another laugh right before he was stepping onto the staircase.

"Where are you going?" Ashton said in a scared voice as he hurried to follow Calum down the stairs.

"Well I'm going to fly out to France where I paint naked ladies for a living and then after that I'm gonna maybe go to Iceland cause that has always been a dream of mine" Calum ended it with a shrug and Ashton glared at him before gritting his teeth cause he knew Calum was mocking him. He was seriously here freaking out and Calum just stood there making fun of him; it was so unfair.

"I'm being serious! This isn't my fucking life" and that earned another laugh from Calum as he grabbed the keys off of the counter then he turned to look at Ashton with a smile.

"By the way since you aren't going into work today maybe you can put up that hammock that you said you'd put up months ago. I think it would add a nice touch to the backyard, don't you?" and Ashton just shook his head and looked down to the floor at Calum's cheeky tone. He would by lying if he said he didn't miss it though; he kind of missed everything about Calum.

When Ashton looked back up Calum was walking towards him and then standing close to him again.

Suddenly Calum was grabbing the collar of Ashton's shirt and bringing him into a kiss that had Ashton letting out a moan and he felt Calum smirk against his lips before the boy was smacking Ashton's ass and pulling away.

"Try not to trash the house too much while I’m gone" he said with a smirk and Ashton wanted to feel his lips again so badly but he refrained himself. After all, this wasn't even his life so he didn't want to get sucked too far into it; even though the idea of living with Calum was sort of like a dream of his at one point in his life.

He kept his eye on Calum as the boy walked towards the front door and then he was stopping after the door was pulled open and he sent Ashton another smile before he was gone and leaving Ashton to figure all of this out on his own.

*

About an hour after he just sat on the same couch in the living room Ashton did end up trying to call Michael and Kelen but the same thing happened as when he called Luke; some stranger answered the phone and Ashton was left without any more options of getting in contact with his best friends.

Ashton kept trying to convince himself that this was all just a dream and that he would wake up soon but everything just felt too real to be happening in a dream; not to mention that his dreams never lasted this long. Unless he was in some sort of coma and this dream would just go on and on until he woke up. If that was the case he hoped he would wake up his bandmates huddled around him in his hospital bed and then they would tell him that this was all a dream.

Sure, being with Calum was nice and all but the fear that his old life was completely gone was what got to Ashton. He started to feel sick again at the thought of never seeing his best friends again and at the thought of not being able to play to hundreds of people. He wished he wouldn't had complained so much about the fans last night because now he would kill to be swarmed by his fans.

So now Ashton was sitting in the same spot on the couch, thinking of what he could do to find some answers when suddenly it hit him. His mother had had the same phone number for the landline for as long as he could remember so there was no way that some stranger would answer her phone. His mother might think he is crazy, like Calum does, but at least he would get some answers out of the phone call. Not to mention that it would be great to hear her voice.

Ashton ran up the stairs and found the bedroom that he woke up in then he was grabbing his phone off of the dresser and dialing his home number.

By the 6th ring Ashton really started to lose hope cause since when did his mother not answer her phone?

"Hi this is Anne and were in Hawaii so I will make sure to call you back as soon as the trip is over!" and Ashton hurried up and hung up the phone before chucking it on the bed and putting his face in his hands.

"Hawaii? Are you fucking kidding me?" Ashton groaned and then he was sitting on the edge of the bed and looking all over the room.

Everything was making him feel sick again because it was just starting to seem so permanent and Ashton just knew he couldn't stay in this house any longer. He stood up and looked out the window again and noticed that there was another car in the driveway that he figured was his but finding the key for that car was another story.

Ashton quickly rummaged through the dresser that he found the phone on and brought out a simple black t shirt and black jeans and slipped them on; At least he didn't have awful taste in clothing in this other life.

He was then running back down stairs and going to the counter where he seen Calum grab his own keys. Luckily there was a key bowl next to the bowl of fruit and Ashton spotted another set of keys that he expected belonged to the other car.

Ashton didn't even know exactly where he was going but he knew he couldn't just sit in that house all day until Calum came home. If he was as crazy as he was before Calum left for work then Calum might do something like send him to the closest looney farm and Ashton didn't want that. He had to at least have some sort of idea of why he was here by the time that Calum came back home.

Ashton pulled out of the driveway and drove to the right since he could see an opening at the end of the road. He looked at all the houses that he was passing by and seen how almost every yard had kids playing in them. A sudden thought occurred to him and he really hoped that him and Calum didn't have any kids in this other life; that was the last thing he needed.

As he got closer to the end of the road he could see a man about his age getting his mail and then suddenly the man was waving at Ashton and clearly trying to get his attention.

"Ugh fuck me" Ashton muttered as he rolled his window down and started to slow the car down.

"Ashton! Ash!" and Ashton just nodded and tried to smile as the man walked closer so that he was right in front of Ashton's window "Hey man I've been meaning to ask you what you got Ronnie for his birthday. I know its extremely last minute and usually Carol gets the presents but she said she forgot" and honestly Ashton kind of zoned out towards the end and all he really registered was the fact that the man said "Carol" and "Ronnie" and those were both names that Ashton had seen in his phone contacts.

"I uh....Calum got him something so I don't know what we got him" Ashton decided to say because it was one thing for Calum to think he's acting weird but he didn't exactly want the whole neighborhood thinking he was off his rocker.

"Oh you cheater" the man laughed "Well I guess you’ll be just as suprised as Ronnie tonight when he opens it" and Ashton looked back at the man with questioning look.

"Umm...tonight?"

"Thats good, Ash" the man burst out laughing "You're just full of jokes today aren't you. You cant expect me to believe that you'd actually forget your own best friends birthday but nice try. I'll see you tonight buddy" and then he was walking back towards his house and Ashton was left there with his mouth hanging open.

So far the only things he knew were that him and Calum were clearly dating, they had a dog together and that Ashton had a best friend named Ronnie who apparently had a birthday party tonight that he would be forced to attend;He knew he was in for so many more surprises.

  
*

Ashton just kept driving around aimlessly through the town that he used to live in and he hated how it all seemed to look the exact same as it did before.

Ashton didn't even know why but he ended up stopping at some gas station to get something to eat and he was thankful that he remember to grab a wallet, that he guessed was his, before he left the house.

Ashton grabbed a soda and a bag of chips before he was making it up to the register and practically throwing the items on the counter.

"Rough day?" said a way too familiar voice and Ashton knew that voice because it was the last one he heard while he was still in Tokyo. Weirdly enough it was the voice he heard the last time he was buying snacks.

Ashton whipped his head up and standing before him was that same guy with the horribly cut mohawk.

"You" was all Ashton managed to get out and the man just smiled at him and nodded "You did this to me" and suddenly Ashton could feel his blood boiling with how angry he was. He was then grabbing the guys collar and pulling him slightly over the counter and the guy stopped smiling "Where are my best friends? What the hell did you do to them?"

"Your friends are fine. Their life hasn't changed; only yours has"

"What?" Ashton choked out and he slowly let go of the guy.

"This is a glimpse, Ashton. A glimpse of what your life would have been like if you wouldn't have forced Calum to get on that plane all those years ago"

"I never fucking told you any of that" Ashton spit out "How do you know all of that?"

"That doesn't matter. What matters is what you learn from this experience" he said simply like that would just answer all of Ashton's questions and Ashton let out a loud sigh.

"So how long is this gonna last?"

"As long as it takes" mohawk guy smiled and Ashton gritted his teeth "Now if you would please move aside; another customer is waiting" and Ashton turned around to see a slightly upset older lady tapping her foot and he moved aside but he still wasn't done asking questions.

"So this isn't a dream? It's really happening?" Ashton just had to make sure.

"Not a dream" he said as he didn't take his eyes off of the lady who was handing him her money "It's really happening. You're out of questions Mr. Irwin" and Ashton just muttered a "Fuck you" before he was exiting the store as angry as he went in.

*

Ashton felt himself getting so excited when he heard the front door open. He had been thinking non stop about this whole Glimpse thing ever since he left the gas station but now that he knew his friends were okay he did feel a little better. His bandmates would have no idea who he was, which made him feel sick, but at least they were safe and Ashton tried not to think too much about it.

Instead he tried to think about his life now, since it was obvious that he was stuck here for an unknown amount of time.

He focused on Calum as the boy walked into the door looking more worn out than he did this morning and Ashton felt the need to stand up and comfort him but he stayed sitting and waited until Calum came into the living room.

"Umm how was your day?" Ashton felt the need to say since they were together and he knew he had been acting weird toward Calum this morning, for good reason, but now he had more of an idea of why he was here and he was really going to try and act normal. After all, he was getting another chance to be with Calum and he didn't want to waste it. Plus he'd be lying if he said that he hadn't missed Calum over the years.

"Shitty" Calum said with a chuckle "All I wanna do is sleep but we've got Ronnie's birthday party. We should have left already actually" Calum said after glancing at the clock.

"Well we don't have to go then" Ashton said right away because the last thing he needed was being surrounded by a bunch of people who were apparently his friends but he didn't know any of them.

"Are you kidding? You've been looking forward to this for months, Ash because you said the present you got for him was really cool"

"Its really not that cool" Ashton was of course unaware of what the gift even was but he was saying anything to get out of this party.

"What even is it?" Calum said casually as he sat on the coffee table in front of Ashton.

"I...don't even remember honestly"

"Well we still gotta go" Calum said standing up "He's your best friend, Ash" Ashton watched the way Calum walked in front of him and got lost in looking at him for a few seconds. He felt like such a creep for always looking at Calum but he just couldn't help it "I've gotta get changed but we gotta leave as soon as I'm done so can you go get the gift please?" Calum said as he stood at the top of the stairs now, looking down at Ashton.

"Sure, where is it?" Ashton said standing up and waiting for Calum to respond.

"I don't know, Ash. You're the one who hid it somewhere in the house" he said with a laugh before he started walking down the hall "Jeesh, whats with you today" Ashton heard him mumble and then Ashton started to panic a bit. He literally has no clue where he hid the gift and Calum was counting on him to find it.

"Shit" Ashton muttered before he was fast walking towards the stairs and making his way up to his bedroom again

  
Ashton honestly didn't even know where to begin but he figured that he would have hidden somewhere in his room. On one hand maybe if he didn't find the gift then Calum wouldn't make him go but another part of him just wanted to find it to make Calum feel better. He knew his weird behavior was really worrying Calum so Ashton knew he had to try harder to act like every thing was okay.

Ashton began looking briefly through all the drawers in both of the dressers and then he looked around the room a few times before focussing on the closet that was by the window. It was times like these that Ashton was happy that he was tall so he could easily look up on the top shelves.

It didn't take long for him to spot something that was wrapped up that had colors of blue and silver and Ashton really hoped this was it. He grabbed it down and almost ended up dropping it because he wasn't prepared for how heavy it was.

Once he held it steadily in his hands he checked all the sides of it but there wasn't any name on it. Ashton figured he wouldn't have any other gifts hidden up there so he was almost positive that this was it.

He went running back down the stairs and Calum was already leaning against the kitchen counter and Ashton's heart skipped a beat at what he saw. Calum was now wearing tight skinny jeans and a midnight blue dress shirt that had the sleeves rolled up and Ashton lost track of how long he just stood there staring at him with awe.

"You got it?" Calum said pushing off of the counter and Ashton just nodded while not looking away from the boy. Calum was then walking towards him and stopping right in front of him and Ashton held his breath as the boy reached out to touch the gift. He looked up at Ashton with a smirk "Still not gonna tell me what it is?" and Ashton swallowed. He would tell Calum if he himself knew what it was.

"Guess it will just have to be a surprise" Ashton tried to smile back.

"You're such a little shit" Calum chuckled and Ashton was laughing too until Calum got closer and put both of his hands on Ashton cheeks then he was leaning forward and pecking his lips a few times but Ashton sucked at Calum's bottom lip hard because he wanted more and Calum must have gotten the message because he smirked then he was leaning forward and instantly deepening the kiss.

When they were young Ashton was always the one who took charge and led the kiss but right now Calum was the one leading and Ashton was just melting into everything that Calum was giving him.

Calum moved one hand from Ashton's cheek and put it through the back of his hair instead and Ashton let out a whimper at how Calum was touching him. He just couldn't believe that he had gone without this for so long.

Ashton couldn't help but reach his hand out and put it on the small of Calum's back to bring the boy closer to him and Calum responded by putting his tongue in Ashton's mouth and God all Ashton could think about was Calum Calum Calum. He began to forget that this wasn't his real life because everything with Calum felt just like it did when they were 18.

"Fuck, Cal" Ashton moaned into the kiss and he took his lips away from the boy to wrap his arms tightly around him and bring him into his chest "I've missed you so much" Ashton whispered into Calum's neck before he even thought about what he was really saying.

"What?" Calum said as he was only loosely holding onto Ashton "Ash, baby" he said so softly that Ashton shivered and then Calum was hugging him back just as tightly "I know I've been working a lot lately but I'm just doing it to make sure that you have the life you've always wanted" and Ashton felt the tears welling up in his eyes; he didn't know if he could handle this anymore. It was wearing him down so bad.

"I just want you" Ashton said. He wasn't sure what he had said to Calum before to make him think that he wasn't happy with his life but he knew there was no way he couldn't be happy; being here with Calum "And I'm so sorry" At that Calum was backing up to look at Ashton but he still had his hands on the boys back as he rubbed circles on it.

"What're you sorry for?" and the first thing that came to Ashton's head was: for making you leave but he knew he couldn't say that and confuse Calum even more than he already was.

"Just for...for making you think that I wasn't happy with this life cause I am. As long as I have you I’ll be happy"

  
It seemed like hours that Calum just stared at him with watery eyes and Ashton was so scared that he said something wrong but then Calum was sniffling and smiling wide.

"You know what...fuck this party. I just wanna stay here with you" and then Calum was grabbing the gift from Ashton's hand and putting it on the counter "Movie night?" he said cautiously like he wasn't sure if Ashton would agree to it but Ashton couldn't think of anything more he'd want to do with Calum than spend the night cuddled up next to him, kissing him as much as he wanted to. Ashton grinned back and nodded as he put both his hands on the back of Calum's hair then he was leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

Calum seemed to be blushing when Ashton stepped back and Ashton loved how he could still make Calum blush after all these years.

"You pick" he said and Calum grinned even more before grabbing Ashton's hand and practically skipping over to the living room.

Ashton honestly couldn't remember that last time he felt so much joy and love.

*

Hours later, after the credits on the movie started to roll Ashton was leaning back in the couch with Calum's head on his lap. Ashton had his fingers rubbing at the boys scalp while his other hand was moving on his bare arm. He swears he could just sit here all night while he just softly ran his hands over Calum.

He was still confused about a lot of things but right now he had Calum with him so he was going to take advantage of it.

Over the years with all the touring Ashton had convinced himself that he was over Calum and that it was just something he could put behind him but now with the boy right below him Ashton knew he had been wrong. He had never stopped loving Calum and he wasn't sure if he ever would.

Sitting here with Calum like this did make him start to think of his bandmates though; how they all used to snuggle on the couch like this before the band took off and they too busy to even have time to take a piss. Usually it Luke would always have his head on Ashton's lap but Calum would be just as close to them.

Sometimes Ashton missed the days when they were just kids who skipped school to just hang out and practice the mediocre songs that they wrote. Things were more simple back then and there was so much less pressure.

Ashton's phone was all the way upstairs but Calum's was sticking out of his pocket and Ashton bit at his lip as he really considered using that one instead.

Ashton started to think more about his bandmates until finally he couldn't stand it any longer and he just had to see them in some form; even if they weren't standing right in front of him like he wanted them to be.

He was careful to slip the phone out of Calum's pocket and luckily the boy didn't even move an inch. Ashton swallowed as he looked at the bright screen, where luckily there wasn't a passcode, wondering if he really should even do this or if it would make things harder on him. Who knows how different the band would be without Ashton as their drummer and that scared him.

Still though he couldn't help but let his curiosity get the best of him and he was opening safari and typing in "5 Seconds Of Summer". It wasn't like he was the one who made up the band name, Michael was, so he was sure the band name would be the same.

A few articles came up and luckily Luke and Michaels names jumped out at him.

The first article was one that read: 5SOS START THE 2ND HALF OF THEIR WORLD TOUR WITH JAPAN SHOW AND YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT MICHAEL CLIFFORD DID.

Ashton felt himself chuckle out loud at that because at least Michael hadn't changed. He was planning on just looking at more articles but then he ended up wanting to read exactly what Michael did.

He opened up the article and skimmed through it until he got to a paragraph that mentioned Michael.

  
Apparently Michael had brought out a bunch of toilet paper rolls and covered himself and the boys with it right at the end of their set. Ashton knew there would be a photo attatched underneath but he almost didn’t even want to look at it; it would just make feel even more left out than he already did.

Again he became curious though and he found himself using his thumb to skim down the page.

He felt his throat tighten at the sight of Michael, Luke, Kelen and some hippie looking bastard with long hair that he guessed was their drummer. Ashton focused on his three best friends though and he looked at each one of them  
Kelen had this cool and collected look on his face like he always did, Luke had a huge smile on his face and Michael was sticking his tongue out with both arms wrapped tightly around Kelen and Lukes shoulders and they were all covered in toilet paper.

God, Ashton missed them but as he looked down at the sleeping Calum on his lap he knew he would miss Calum too if the boy wasn't with him. He was scared of how long this glimpse would last but at the same time he didn't want it to end either. Ashton knew he had some hard times ahead of him.

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise there will be more Calum and Ash from here on but in this chapter I just want you guys to get an idea of how Ashton's life is. Let me know what you think!

Ashton woke up the next morning still startled a bit to see himself in a room that wasn't his but he wasn't even as close to as freaked out as he was the first morning he woke up here.

He remembered a bit of last night when Calum was leading him upstairs to their bedroom after they both feel asleep on the couch but what he remembered most was Calum laying down behind him as he kept putting soft kisses to the back of Ashton's neck. He couldn't even remember the last time he fell asleep so peacefully.

Now as his eyes began to flicker open he was laying on his side, facing away from Calum and he watched out the window as the trees kept hitting the glass.   
  
He still felt himself feeling terribly homesick for his bandmates and he wondered how they were doing without him; yet again he was sure they were fine because they were totally unaware of Ashton's existence so therefor they didn't feel the sadness of missing him.

Suddenly Ashton could feel Calum moving behind him and soon he felt the boys arm wrapping around his torso then Calum was humming a bit as he pressed kisses to the back of Ashton's hair and Ashton felt his eyes shutting.

"Gotta get up for work, baby" Calum said in his husky morning voice that Ashton had honestly missed so much. He felt Calum begin the drift away from him and then he felt the bed moving more and he turned to see Calum sitting on the edge, his naked back right in Ashton's view. All Ashton wanted to do was reach out and rub his fingers against it like he used to do when they were younger when Calum couldn't sleep.

But then Calum was turning around with his eyebrows raised and Ashton found himself copping the action.

"Aren’t you getting up?" Calum said with a chuckle.

"For what?"

"Umm for work" Calum said plainly then he was smirking as he stood up wearing only his boxers "Or are you gonna skip it again?" and not only did Ashton forget that Calum said something about him having a job last night but he also had no clue where he even worked.

He wish he would have asked the glimpse guy yesterday because he knew that asking Calum where he worked would yet again worry the boy and Ashton really wanted to try and act normal.

"Ummm" Ashton put a hand on his forehead, trying to think of how to ask this without totally coming out and asking Calum where he worked "So do I like my job?" and Ashton immediately cringed because that was such a random and stupid question to ask.

"Well I thought you did" Calum laughed as he was walking over to a dresser to open the 2nd drawer "It's always been your dream to do something in music but I guess dreams can change"

"So my job has to do with music" Ashton heard himself saying out loud and Calum was turning his head to look at him with a bit of a scowl on his face.

"Uh yeah" Calum said letting his eyes linger on Ashton for a few more seconds before he was walking towards the door with a pile of clothes in his hands "Oh and don't forget to grab Ronnie's gift on your way out. I guess you can just drive it over to him after work or something" Calum threw over his shoulder then he was disappearing into the bathroom.

Ashton still didn't have a clue where he worked but he knew either way he had to get out of the house or else Calum would be getting on his case for not going to work.

And if Ashton didn't end up being able to find out where he worked then so be it. He really didn't even care about getting fired because yet again, this wasn't his life so he he didn't care if he screwed it up. He just didn't want to mess anything up with Calum, he knew that for certain.

Ashton found himself walking into the closet that was closest to his side of the bed. He was just guessing that it was his closet because he had seen Calum digging through the other one and this was also the one that he found the gift in.

He ended up grabbing a Van Halen shirt and a pair of black jeans because it reminded him of how he dressed while he was still in the band and everything else looked like something a middle aged man would wear.

*

After roaming the halls of the upstairs he managed to find the other bathroom and he quickly took a shower, shaved and then got dressed before he was running his palm over his freshly shaved jaw and stepping out into the hallway again.

He could smell syrup and the smell of other breakfast foods as soon as he got downstairs and he instantly smiled at the comforting smell.

Back when he was on tour they hardly ever got a proper breakfast and his breakfasts usually were just a couple of bites of a pop tart on the way to the venue and a couple of bottles of water before he went on stage.

His smile died down though when he got into the kitchen and Calum was nowhere in sight.

Ashton found himself sitting down at the stool at the counter and that was when Calum was reappearing from some back room that looked like the laundry room.

He was wearing a grey suit and looked so handsome and Ashton wondered where he worked because he was always dressed so proper.

"I made you breakfast but I gotta take off" he was then looking down at his watch and then walking towards Ashton "I'm already running late" Calum then pressed a kiss to Ashton's temple and then his cheek and Ashton could feel his cheeks getting hot.

"Have a good day, babe" Calum shouted right before he was opening the door and Ashton kept looking out the big window in the front of the house as he watched Calum walking down the driveway then he was getting in the car.

Ashton felt himself looking sadly out the window for a few more minutes before he was facing the pancakes and scarfing them down like he was starving and honestly he kind of was.

After he finished eating he took the plate to the sink and washed it before grabbing a water out of the fridge and chugging half of it.

He knew he would never find out where he worked if he just stayed inside all day so he let out a breath and grabbed his keys, Ronnie's gift that he wasn't even sure he would be able to give to to him because he had no clue where he even lived and wallet before he was walking out of the house.

As he was driving down the suburb road there were kids playing in almost every yard just like yesterday and Ashton had no idea how he lived in such a boring neighborhood.

When Ashton was getting towards the exit of the road he caught sight of the guy that stopped him yesterday and he had an idea. He didn't care if this stranger thought he was crazy so he was just going to go for it.

"Hey!" Ashton was yelling to the man who was throwing a stick to his dog in the yard and the friendly guy was smiling as he jogged to the edge of the yard where Ashton had stopped his car.

"Hey, Ash you missed out on Ronnie's birthday party last night"

"I know, I know. I'm sure it was great" he said dully and the mans smile was dying down but he really didn't care right now "But I’ve got to ask you some questions"

"Umm alright" the man looked skeptical but Ashton continued anyways.

"Where do I work?" Ashton said quickly like it was a normal question and the man burst out laughing.

"You crack me up, Ash; you really do"

"No I really don't know where I work" Ashton paused and thought of a lie pretty quickly "I hit my head yesterday and the doctors said I'm suffering from minor memory loss"

"Seriously? Wow, Ash I hope it comes back"

"It will, it will. Its only temporary but I've forgotten some things"

"Oh, Okay well you work at Smitty's"

"Smitty's" Ashton said dully "Like the music store?" Sure it was the music store that Ashton went to all the time with Calum but he couldn't believe that was his job that he apparently loved so much. He really couldn't even believe it was still in business considering that him and Calum were like the only people who ever went in there.

"Yeah, the music store! See you're already starting to get your memory back" the man said but no that wasn't at all it because Ashton was still utterly confused about everything.

"Well, what the hell do I do there? Just sit behind the counter all day?" Ashton said in an irritated voice. He began to get angry a bit because working at a music store was the type of job that you did as a teenager, not someone who was almost in their middle 20's.

"Well yeah but you're the manager. You love working there"

"Yeah that's what they keep telling me" Ashton mumbled and he looked back to see the man furrowing his eyebrows.

*

Ashton was pulling into the music stores parking lot only a few minutes later and he let out a sigh when he looked at the grey grungy looking building because it looked exactly the same as it did when he was a kid.

He could remember sitting on the bench right outside of it drinking pop and watching all the cars go by as Calum sat beside him. That was before they even dated and even then Ashton could remember always wanting to kiss him and hold him.

Ashton got out of the car and dragged himself to the front doors.

There was a young kid with bleach blond hair who was wearing a rainbow hat that was on backwards and he honestly looked like he was straight out of the 90's. He had big headphones on as he was digging through some of the vinyls and his back was turned to Ashton.

Ashton decided to look around a bit until the boy noticed him.

He began to flip through the first row of vinyls and he passed a couple of 3 Doors Down records before he froze.

He had his fingers tracing over a 5 Seconds Of Summer record. It was an album name that he didn't recognize and he flipped it over to see a picture of three of his best friends. None of them were wearing shirts and they had different colors of paint on them. Ashton thought it must have been a fun photoshoot session and he was so sad that he wasn't a part of it; so sad that he wasn't a part of their band.

"Ash!" and Ashton groaned a bit before he was turning around "I was worried yesterday when Calum called in for you and said that you weren't feeling well. Are you feeling better?"

"Sure" Ashton said quickly raising his eyebrows then he was going back to looking down at the 5 Seconds Of Summer album.

"Oh! and I was gonna tell you this yesterday" the blond boy shouted and Ashton flickered his eyes over to see the boy jogging over to the counter "Look at this" he said holding up a magazine and then Ashton was walking towards it.

"A Rolling Stone magazine" he said plainly then the boy was shaking it. Ashton looked down to see that his name tag read "Kurt".

"Yeah but open it to page 15" Kurt said sounding so excited so Ashton took it from his hand and flipped it to page 15.

He immediately saw a photo of the music store that he was standing in and he wondered why the hell Rolling Stone would write a story about this music store; there just wasn't anything special about it.

"Rolling Stone wrote a story about the store! Isn't that fucking awesome!" Kurt yelled and Ashton felt himself jumping at first from Kurt's booming voice.

"Yeah, yeah" Ashton said lazily as he put the magazine back on the counter "Super cool"

Ashton could feel the boy worried stare on him, frankly it was a stare he was getting quite used to, but he just turned around and started looking at the vinyls again, forcing himself not to look at the 5SOS one any more.

"You've got umm...you've got Elliot coming in for his drumming lesson at around 2. Just in case you forgot" Kurt said with a weak and almost shy tone and Ashton knew he was to blame for bringing the boys mood down.

Ashton felt himself grumbling though because he hated kids and he couldn't believe he ever agreed to giving kids drumming lessons.

This was going to be a long day.

*

A couple of long hours later Ashton was sitting behind the counter reading a magazine while Kurt was rearranging vinyls at the back of the store.

Ashton felt so depressed working in this shop and he couldn't believe that this was actually his dream job. As a kid he always wondered what it would be like to work here but now that he was he was figuring out how boring it really was.

Maybe it was because he knew what it felt like to be in a real band and that was why this life felt so average to him; he knew that had to be it.

They had literally had three customers all day but suddenly the door was opening with a ding and Ashton looked up from his spiny chair from behind the counter to see a lady with a young boy walking in. They weren't the type of customers that they had earlier considering that the mom was dressed like a snobby soccer mom and the boy had on a private school uniform and looked no older than 8 or 9.

"Alright you have fun, Elliot and I will be back at 3:00 okay?" she was talking down to the boy then leaning down to kiss him and it started to click for Ashton. This was the boy that he was supposed to be giving drum lessons too and he almost groaned.

"Okay, Mum" the boy said in an irritated voice like he just wanted her to leave already and then she was sending Ashton a quick smile before she was exiting the store.

The boy was rushing over to Ashton and then propped himself up on the counter and Ashton jumped at the action.

"You promised me that you would start teaching me that new drum solo today, remember, Ash?" Elliot said in an excited voice and it was a voice that everyone talked to Ashton in. Ashton was beginning to realize that he was normally a very fun and friendly guy so it was no wonder everyone was so weirded out by the way he's been acting.

"Yeah" Ashton said nodding because he really wasn't in the mood but he refused to bum this kid out like he had Kurt earlier; he had to at least try to act normal and so far today he had been doing a pretty shit job at it "Remind me again what solo that was?"

"It's from the song The River" Elliot said making his voice higher but that still wasn't helping Ashton out at all. The only song by the name that he could think of was the one was by Good Charlotte.

"Yeah but by what band?" Ashton said quickly and Elliot giggled then shook his head.

"It's by your band, silly"

"What?" Ashton almost screamed because his band? Was this some sort of sick joke? He started to think of the possibility of the glimpse somehow stopping but keeping him in the same place and he felt relief spread through him at that thought but he didn't even know if that was possible; yet again he didn't know Glimpse's were possible either but yet here he was"My band?"

At that Elliot's smile faded completely then he was turning around and seemed to be facing Kurt.

"Kurt did you poison him or something?" Elliot shouted across the shop and Ashton looked over to see Kurt picking his head up.

"No way little man; I don't know what’s wrong with him either" and Ashton rolled his eyes at Kurt's answer; they were talking about him as if he wasn't even here. In a way Ashton wasn't here though because he knew nothing about his life.

"Are you an alien?" Elliot said with a stern look.

"What-"

"What'd you do with Ashton? Are all your alien friends probing his brain right now?"

"No" Ashton said actually chuckling "You watch way too much TV, kid"

"But you admit that you aren't, Ashton?" and Ashton pondered on that question for a few seconds. He wasn't the Ashton that everyone in this life knew so in a way no, he wasn't the Ashton that the kid was referring to.

He felt like if anyone would believe him it would be this kid. Plus if he told the kid the truth then hopefully he could be the person to answer all the question that Ashton had about his life.

"No, I'm not Ashton" Ashton said lowering his voice and Elliot's eyes widened "But I promise that he will be back soon"

"Well where is he? Is he hurt?" the boy seemed sad now and Ashton felt bad.

"No no no" Ashton said quickly "He's just on vacation...in space" Ashton decided to go with the whole alien thing because it seemed to be a thing that Elliot believed in.

"Well how'd he get there?"

"Well you know how people win those free trips to go on cruises and stuff?" Ashton said and Elliot nodded "Well Ashton won a trip to go to space and hang out with the aliens" and Ashton smiled to himself; he couldn't believe he made up something like that right on the spot.

"Cool! Do you think he will bring me back anything? My mom always brings me back a shirt when she goes on trips"

"Maybe" Ashton laughed out; if all kids were like this maybe he wouldn't hate kids so much "Or maybe he will bring you back like a space rock or something"

"I hope he takes me next time cause I know aliens would like me"

Ashton started to wish that it was this easy to tell everyone that he wasn't who they all thought he was and he honestly wished that that alien story was true and the real Ashton would be coming back for sure.

He knew that this glimpse was supposed to teach him a lesson and if the lesson was to let him know how good his life was when he was in the band then he knows that the lesson was learned. When,or if, he got to go back to his real life he knew he would never complain about fans again or about how Michael snored loudly on the bus or how Luke and Kelen used to stay up half the night blaring the TV when he was trying to sleep.

Ashton knew he wouldn't ever complain about any of that again but the thought of never being able to experience those things again is what scared him the most.

*

As soon as Elliot had left Ashton slumped back in the chair and let out a loud sigh.

The entire hour that the boy was here all he did was ask Ashton questions about space and aliens and Ashton began to regret even making up the alien story in the first place.

He began to rummage around in the small drawer that was under the front desk, looking for answers maybe because he sure as hell didn't get any from Elliot since the boy only asked his own questions.

He chuckled when he spotted a ziplock bag with a green substance in it and he was immediately reminded of high school.

He brought it out and shook it in the air as he smiled.

"Hey, this yours?" he said to Kurt who was putting a new record on. Ashton thought there was a possibility that the weed was his but then he remembered the wardrobe in his closet and he figured he was way too big of a dweeb in this life to smoke weed.

Kurt was suddenly widening his eyes and he looked terrified as he ran over to Ashton.

"Please don't fire me, Ashton" he began begging and Ashton frowned "I know you said that if you ever seen me with weed here at work again then you would fire me but I promise I forgot that was in here. I swear to you I will throw it out"

Ashton couldn't believe that he had threatened to fire the kid just for having weed; he was a huge fucking dweeb after all.

"Relax, relax" Ashton said cutting the boy off as he was still begging then Ashton started to rummage through the same drawer in search of something else "You got any rolling paper?" he said casually, still looking in the drawer.

"W-What?" Kurt had his mouth wide open like Ashton had just told him that he killed a man.

"I said do you got any rolling paper?" Ashton said more sternly this time as he shook bag of weed again.

"Yeah...yeah in my car I do" Kurt still looked so shocked.

"Go get them” Ashton said pointing his thumb towards the front door.

  
Kurt looked at him in shock for a few more seconds and then Ashton was widening his eyes and Kurt nodded then took off out the front door.

Kurt got back only a minute later and then he was handing the rolling paper over to Ashton like he was scared. Ashton ignored his weird behavior then he was taking the rolling paper and unzipping the baggy of weed.

He remembers the last time that he smoked weed was when they were touring in the states and while Luke and Kelen went out to some bar in San Diego him and Michael stayed in the hotel and sat on the balcony as they smoked.

That memory made him miss his bandmates eve more and he tried to push it away and instead focused on sprinkling the weed onto the small paper and then tightly rolling it up.

He briefly glanced up to see Kurt staring down at him with his jaw dropped and Ashton smirked before looking back down.

Once he was finished sealing it with his tongue he looked back up at Kurt and seen him still frozen in place.

"You got a light?" Ashton said and Kurt scrambled to put his hand in his back pocket to grab a lighter before handing it to Ashton.

Ashton lit it and inhaled the smoke before leaning back and then letting out a relieved sigh a few seconds later.

"Sit the fuck down. You're making me nervous just standing there and looking at me" Ashton said as he gestured to the chair in front of him that sat against the wall and then Kurt was of course quick to do what he was told.

Once he was sat down Ashton held the joint out in arms reach but Kurt just stared at it.

"Come on, take it. It's your weed, kid"

"You're not gonna fire me?" he spoke quietly and Ashton rolled his eyes.

"No. I want you to forget all about that guy who threatened to fire you for having weed because he was obviously lame as hell"

Finally Kurt took it and inhaled it before handing it back to Ashton and Ashton took a long hit of it before taking it away from his mouth again.

"Besides, I don't know how anyone works here without having some sort of substance that brings up their mood" Ashton grumbled as he looked around the shop "Talk about fucking depressing" and that got a chuckle out of Kurt which Ashton counted as an accomplishment.

Ashton slumped further down in his chair and rested his ankle on his knee as he got more comfortable and then he was just focusing on the music in the background as he let his eyes close. He had forgotten how lazy getting high would make you and he now realized why his mother called him that exact word when he was in early high school.

He had stopped smoking as much when he met Calum cause Calum was his main source of happiness and then he had stopped completely as soon as they started dating because he had finally gotten to live the dream that he had been wanting for years.

He zoned back into the music and realized how terrible it really was then he was looking back at Kurt who was spacing out at a spot on the floor.

"Hey" Ashton mumbled and then he ended up having to kick the boys shoe to get his attention "Can you change this shit? Its horrible"

"Uh yeah" he was nodding quickly and then getting up "Yeah, what do you want on?" Ashton was about to say he didn't care what Kurt put on but then he thought of something else.

"Uhhh...put on 5 Seconds Of Summer" and he chuckled after he said that because it sounded so foreign coming from his mouth; he would have never told anyone to play his own band.

"What?" Kurt laughed and Ashton was afraid that he would learn something else about his life that made no sense to him "You hate that band"

"I do?" Ashton scrunched his nose up and looked up at the boy with lazy eyes.

"Yeah you always say that their lead singer sounds like a wimp"

"What?" Ashton died laughing at that "That doesn't even make sense. Luke's got a great fucking voice"

"Now you know their names? What the hell is going on?"

"Nothing, nothing" Ashton said waving him off "Just go put on one of their albums"

Ashton looked up to see Kurt shaking his head as he turned around.

When the song turned on it of course wasn't one that Ashton knew but he immediately heard Luke's voice and he found himself getting emotional. Listening to them was a bad idea and he was realizing that now.

Their style even seemed to be different and Ashton couldn't believe that him not being in the band made them sound so much different; he didn't think he made that much of an impact on the band.

*

When the bell from the top of the front door started to ring Ashton rolled his eyes and spun around in the chair and he watched a familiar man walk into the shop but he just couldn't place where he had seen him.

Ever since he had started touring the world he had met so many people along the way and he found that it was easy to forget people.

The man, not much older than Ashton, started walking towards the counter with a friendly smile though and it was then that Ashton remembered.

"Ronnie?" Ashton breathed out "Ronnie Reading?"

"Ash why are you acting as if you hadn't seen me in years" Ronnie started chuckling and it hit Ashton that it was Ronnie's birthday party that he had missed last night; Ronnie was his best friend.

Ashton had no idea how this happened considering that they hated each other in high school and back in middle school, before Ashton learned how to defend himself, Ronnie had made his life a living hell.

"So we're friends?"

"Well with the way you're acting I'm not so sure that you consider me one" Ronnie tried to smile but Ashton could tell how worried he was; it was the face everyone made, including Calum, when Ashton kept asking questions that he should know the answer to.

"But we-we hated each other all through school"

"Yeah but I thought we moved past that, Ash" Ronnie said slowly then he was looking straight up sad "Is this why you didn't come over last night? Cause you were thinking about old times"

"No...No I just don't know how this happened, with me and you"

"I dont know" Ronnie shrugged helplessly and Ashton could tell that this was not the Ronnie he knew back in school "I guess we just sort of settled our differences once me and Calum started working together. You know, I apologized and-"

"Wait wait" Ashton said putting his hands up "You work with Calum?"

Ronnie was smiling but then it was fading and the man looked past Ashton to look at Kurt.

"Is he okay? Like is he just kidding with me?"

"He's been like this all day" Kurt said in a bored tone and Ashton looked back to glare at him quickly “Earlier he made me play 5 Seconds Of Summer" and that had Ronnie laughing.

"What?" Ronnie said like it was the craziest thing he had ever heard "You fucking hate that band"

"I know" Ashton grumbled, dragging his words on. He thought it was so ironic how the Ashton in this life hated the band that he was apart of in another life but he would just have to go with it.

"Okay I'm just gonna go along with this" Ronnie said with humor in his voice "Yeah I work with Calum. We're both teachers at the high school"

"So hes a teacher" Ashton spoke out loud, piecing it all together "Thats why he always wears a suit"

Ashton looked up to see Ronnie raising his eyebrows at him and he could tell that Ronnie thought he was crazy and he didn't blame him; Ashton felt crazy.

Ashton looked up to see Kurt standing up and going towards the door.

"Hey, where are you going?" Ashton said in a nervous voice.

"Its closing time" Kurt said lazily gesturing to the clock on the wall "Don't forget to lock up" he said right before he was leaving Ronnie and Ashton alone.

*

Once they were both outside Ashton had told Ronnie that he had his present in his car so Ronnie followed him out there and then Ashton was reaching to get it from the passenger seat.

"Umm...here you go" Ashton said awkwardly handing it over. He always felt weird giving people gifts; especially now since he didn't even have a clue what it was.

"Thanks, Ash" Ronnie was looking at Ashton like his mother would before they had some serious talk and Ashton got nervous "Listen I came down here to see if you're okay. I talked to Calum during lunch today and he said you've been acting...off lately"

"Is that really the word he used to describe my behavior?" Ashton said in a dull tone, not buying it.

"No, he said you've been acting weird as fuck" and Ashton laughed at that but he noticed that Ronnie wasn't laughing "So...are you okay?"

Ashton wasn't okay at all but he couldn't tell Ronnie that. He also couldn't tell an adult the alien story that he had told Elliot and he couldn't tell him the truth either so he knew he would have to lie.

"I'm fine, really" Ashton said putting on a smile "Just been thinking about the past a lot lately" and that wasn't lie.

"What, like you and Cal?"

"Kind of" Ashton mumbled and he just really wanted to get home and be with the boy.

"Well Calum loves you; I hope you don't ever doubt that" Ronnie said sternly and Ashton just nodded "Well I better let you get home to him" Ronnie said patting Ashton's shoulder and Ashton forced a smile.

"Yeah...See ya" Ashton said before going around his car and getting in the drivers seat.

He still couldn't believe this was his life now but without a doubt the best part was being able to go home to Calum.

*

When Ashton walked into the house mostly all the lights were off and the only light was the light above the stove in the kitchen and the blues and reds that were coming from the TV in the living room.

Ashton put his keys in the bowl on the counter and looked around for his boy and he smiled at referring to Calum as his boy cause he hadn't done that since they were in school.

"Hey, I got pizza" came Calum's voice from the couch in the living room and Ashton looked to see two boxes of pizza sitting at the island in the kitchen.

He quickly got a paper plate and put two pieces of it on it before making it over to the couch. He smiled when he seen Calum with his back against the end of the couch and his feet sprawled out and Ashton was about to sit by his feet until he seen something blocking him from doing that.

"Hey, move" Ashton said pulling at the dogs collar but the fluffy dog just kept panting as it was looking up at Ashton "Dude, get down"

Calum was instantly laughing at Ashton's words.

"Did you just call our dog "dude"?" he said smiling up at Ashton and Ashton got lost in the feeling that Calum's smile gave him.

"Yeah" Ashton said shaking himself of those sappy feelings then he was pulling at the dog again "It won't get down"

"Stormy, get down" Calum said sternly and Ashton rolled his eyes at the name; Calum had obviously picked it out.

He sat down at Calum's feet but then the boy was nudging his thigh and he looked up to see Calum almost pouting. Ashton smiled then he was scooting closer so that Calum's thighs were resting on his legs and they were much closer.

Calum went back to watching TV but Ashton continued to watch him as the lights flickered on his face in the dark room. It was still a shock that Calum was sitting here next to him when just a few days ago he was in some hotel room with Luke, thinking about how much he missed Calum.

In a way he sort of wished for all of this to happen but Ashton never imagined that it would hurt this much to be away from his bandmates.

After Ashton finished his pizza he fell back into the couch and let out a breath, feeling so full and worn out but he didn't have much time to think about that before he felt a weight on his lap.

He opened his eyes and smiled as he seen Calum sitting there on his lap with a happy grin on his face.

"Hey" Ashton said with a chuckle as he set his hands on Calum's thighs like it was just a reflex.

Instead of saying anything back Calum was putting both of his hands on Ashton's neck before he was surging forward and bringing their lips together. Ashton melted into it and squeezed Calum's legs as he kissed him back and Ashton didn't know why they didn't just do this all day instead of going to work.

"Wait" Calum laughed then he was pulling away "Why do you totally smell like reefer?"

"Ummm" Ashton didn't know if he should lie or not but he figured he would just tell the truth. It wasn't like Calum would care anyways "I smoked a bit at work today"

"Really?" Calum smirked then he started pecking kisses down the side of Ashton's neck and Ashton shivered, remembering how much he loved this "That's so unlike you to smoke at work" and he had a cheeky tone to his voice so Ashton knew that Calum wasn't just getting on his case.

"Mhm" Ashton closed his eyes then gripped Calum's jaw to bring him into another kiss and he heard Calum moan "I've been a bad boy today" Ashton didn't know where all of this was coming from but he knew Calum was enjoying it because he let out a breathy moan and grinded down on Ashton.

"Fuck, baby" Calum whined out when Ashton reached around to grab his ass then Ashton felt himself freezing; this all felt so wrong.

To Calum this would just be another night of having sex with his boyfriend that he has been with for years but to Ashton it felt like having sex with a stranger with how many years had passed without seeing Calum and honestly Ashton felt like he was taking advantage of Calum.

Just a week ago Ashton was having sex with some random girl that he met at a club and Calum was totally unaware of it because it happened before Ashton entered the glimpse but it still felt so wrong and he had to stop it before it went too far.

Calum was still grinding viciously against Ashton as he sucked bruises onto his neck and God, it felt amazing and Ashton didn't want it to stop at all but he knew it was the right thing to do.

"C-Cal" and Ashton forced himself to not moan from the pleasure that Calum was giving him.

"You okay?" Calum stopped immediately to look at Ashton; Calum really was too good for this world.

"Yeah I just...don't feel good all of a sudden. That pizza just isn't settling well with me"

"Oh, we can stop then. Do you wanna just lay upstairs and watch TV?” he said back and Ashton smiled before wiping some hair from Calum's forehead.

"Yeah...M'sorry"

"What are you sorry about?" Calum said standing up and grabbing Ashton's hand to pull him up.

"I got you all riled up then I made you stop" Ashton said back once they were walking up the stairs, hand in hand.

"Ash it's alright" Calum said as he squeezed his hand then leaned into Ashton to give his shoulder a kiss. Ashton kissed the top of his hair then they were getting to the top of the stairs and turning towards their bedroom.

Ashton began stripping down to his boxers and when he was done he sat on the edge of the bed and looked up to see Calum in just his boxers as well as he put his phone on the charger. Ashton looked his body up and down and he couldn't believe how much it had changed since high school. In high school his stomach was all soft and now it was toned, as were his arms. Ashton had loved Calum's body from before of course also but this Calum now was all new to him.

"God, you're so beautiful" Ashton said breathlessly and he felt himself blushing but then Calum was turning to look at him with a smile on his face.

"How can you say that like you haven't seen me in years?" Calum said with a chuckle and Ashton just shrugged as he briefly looked down at the floor.

"You know I've never wanted to be with anyone else but you" Ashton felt himself saying and he meant every word.

Ashton remembers all the nights of touring and hooking up with random people just to try and cure his loneliness but he always ended up thinking of Calum no matter what.

There had been so many times where he could have dated models or actors but he never wanted to; he only wanted Calum.

He watched as Calum slowly walked towards him, the smile completely gone from his face now, and then he was stopping right in front of where Ashton was sat on the bed. Ashton wrapped both of his arms around the boys waist and began pecking small kisses all over Calum's tummy as Calum put both hands in Ashton's hair and started massaging his fingers in it.

"I love you so much" Calum whispered and Ashton held him tighter then he was looking up at him, with his chin resting on Calum's tummy.

"I love you too" and those words felt so natural coming off of his tongue and at that moment he knew he had never stopped loving Calum, even during all the years that had passed without the boy by his side; Ashton still loved him through it all.

"Its the weekend tomorrow" Calum said suddenly "We should go somewhere; like a trip" and Ashton thought that sounded amazing, getting to spend one on one time with Calum.

"I’ll go anywhere with you" Ashton spoke against Calum's tummy and Calum was playfully pushing him back and then laying entirely down on top of Ashton with his head on his chest.

Ashton was in heaven and if this really was a dream, he knew that he didn't ever want to wake up.

 

 


End file.
